Some say Dick Cheney is wrong to have sex with a six-year-old boy 

by John in DC - 8/28/2006 05:48:00 PM 

There are some who say Dick Cheney is right to want to have sex with a six-year-old boy. To them I say, you're wrong. 

Now, sure, I don't know for a fact that Dick Cheney wants to have sex with a six-year-old boy, but I also don't know for a fact that he doesn't, or hasn't. But judging by what Cheney just said today about Democrats, and what Patricia Wilson of Reuters reported as apparent truth, Cheney being a practicing pedophile is just as true as what Cheney or Wilson allege. Here's what Dick had to say:

"Some in our own country claim retreat from Iraq would satisfy the appetite of the terrorists and get them to leave us alone," Cheney told a Veterans of Foreign Wars convention in Reno, Nevada. "A precipitous withdrawal from Iraq would be ... a ruinous blow to the future security of the United States."

And America's own Pravda, also known as Reuters, in the shape of "reporter" Patricia Wilson, simply quotes Cheney's words as though anyone in America, other than Mohammad Atta, has ever said anything about needing to "satisfy the appetite of the terrorists." Cheney has entered the land of the delusional, and Reuters the land of FOX News.

But Patricia Wilson of Reuters couldn't just leave it at that. No.

Her next paragraph, as inartful as she could make it, suggests that Democrats actually have said that we should appease terrorists:

Cheney did not use the word "Democrats," choosing instead the anonymous "some," but he rejected the argument many have made that by invading Iraq in March 2003, the United States simply "stirred up a hornets' nest."

Now Wilson and Reuters will claim that this previous paragraph really refers to the NEXT paragraph that follows. Well guess what Sherlock? You never bothered mentioning anything about how no one has ever suggested that we need to appease the appetite of the terrorists, so your reader is going to assume that you meant the Democrats.

Seriously, you people call yourself journalists? And you wonder why your credibility keeps dropping.

Do your damn job.

(Hat tip to MattMcD in the comments for the first paragraph.)